I Don't Look Like A Monkey, Nor Do I Smell Like One, But I Might Act Like One.

March is my birthday month, people! And let me tell you, as I look in the rearview of my life, objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Just because they may look smaller, and since smaller-appearing objects seem further away than they actually are, one might make a maneuver assuming an object is a safe distance behind, when in fact it is quite a bit closer. For example, there was the time I asked the man with the dark, purple port-wine birthmark on his face just how on Earth he got his ‘black eye?’… and the time I asked a paunchy woman when her baby was due, and she was not pregnant… and then the time I told a complete stranger that I had more hoops in my nipples than poodles to jump through them (which is not even true!)… and the time I spoke only in limericks... and the time I stole my friend's car, with his dog in it... I could go on. The point is, I’ve managed to conveniently forget many of the stupid things I’ve done and said, thinking I‘ve safely distanced myself from them and grown up. But when a close friend recently reminded me of my past antics, it becomes clear that I am not as mature as my years might lead one to assume. Adulting is over-reated anyway. Also, objects in mirror do not get any less funny with time!

So, ANYWAY. My birthday. Here’s the plan…

On my website, one can sign up for the Cowboy's Sweetheart Newsletter. 

I promise not to email you about:

• 🚨 “URGENT: Action required on your account” (nope, calm down)

• 📦 “Your package is on hold” (I didn’t send you anything)

• 💰 “You’ve been pre-approved!” (for nonsense)

• 👀 “Is this you in the video?” (absolutely not)

• 🌍 “A business proposal” from a mysterious stranger (hard pass)

Just thoughtful notes, good stuff I actually care about, and emails worth opening.
Unsubscribe anytime—no hard feelings, no guilt.

If you would like to stop reading this now and go sign up, that would be fine, and I will wait here until you get back….. doo dee doo…

Okay, now here’s the fun part: Tell your friends to do the same. Bribe them if you have to. It's FINE. Because the more people you get to sign up, the greater the chance you will have to win a Lucky Love Necklace.

That’s right, March is also Customer Appreciation Month!